On Walking (Or Lack Thereof)

I know what some of you are thinking. "Hey, isn't Claire like 16 months old? Well, surely she's walking by now. Probably has been for months. Did we miss a blog post or something?"

Actually, Claire loves to walk. She motors all over the house. Last night, she walked and walked and walked, from the laundry room through the kitchen, circling around via the family room to the playroom and then back again. She did this for a full half an hour. The catch? She was holding onto my hands the entire time.

I mean, she clearly knows how to walk, and her balance has improved dramatically in the last few weeks. When I walk behind her, she's perfectly content. Last night, she even hummed a little song while we were walking, like we were taking a hike in the countryside or something. So she's certainly reached the point where she can and should at least try to stand without holding onto anything, or even attempt a few steps. But. She. Absolutely. Will. Not. End of discussion, Mommy.

I just don't get it. I really don't. If I let go of even one of her hands for just a few brief seconds, she freezes in place and screams. She's perfectly steady when I do this (remember, I'm still holding her other hand!), but for whatever reason, she hates it. I've spent a lot of time in the last week just staring at Claire, trying to figure out what's going on in that mysterious little head. Is she afraid? Stubborn? Is it a control thing? Some combination of all three? I've tried to force the issue by letting go of one of her hands—I figured I'd just wait out the screaming and she'd suddenly discover this wasn't so bad. But I gave up faster than she did. And it seems to have only made matters worse—now if I even try to scratch my nose while we're walking, she freaks out. I don't know why or how this all started, but it has now become a power struggle, and we all know no good can come of that.

The worst part is, she has been the hugest crab lately! I think the walking situation is to blame. Since she's so happy whenever I'm walking with her, that must be her preferred mode of travel now. The problem is that I'm just not going to spend more than 45 minutes or so a day indulging her in this. So she waits for me to escort her on her morning/afternoon/evening stroll, and gets thoroughly pissed off when I don't comply. Well, them's the breaks, Claire. If you want something done, get up and do it yourself, little girl! What's the worst that could happen? You might fall on your amply-padded behind on the carpet? Stand up and give it a shot!

Okay, I'm aware that yelling at her via blog probably isn't going to change anything, but at this point I feel like the frustration level has been dialed up to 11 on both sides. Fortunately (I guess?), we have an appointment tomorrow morning with someone from Ozaukee County Birth to Three. This woman is coming to our house to do a developmental assessment and then we will be referred to the appropriate agency (physical therapist or whatever). I can't wait to hear what this lady has to say about Claire, since to me it's pretty clear that this is not a physical problem. She knows what to do. She just won't do it.

I fear for the teenage years. But for now, Claire, you can make Mommy super duper happy by just walking on your own. Let's try it, shall we?

P.S. Often, when I post some emphatic statement on the blog, Claire immediately turns around and does exactly the opposite. For example, I recently posted, "She won't even try to pull up! It's like the thought has never entered her mind!" Literally, within minutes of posting those words, she ... tried to pull up. So, just for good measure: "Claire refuses to walk on her own! It's like she's an invalid! I don't think she'll walk until she's TWO!" There, that ought to do it. Fingers crossed.