Mother's Day 2019

After a brief hiatus, here's a Mother's Day 2019 interview!

What is your favorite thing about Mommy?

Elsa: Oh, this thing!!!  Claire, you go first.  

Claire: That she, umm, that she’s our mother, that’s my favorite thing.  She takes us places and she cares about us.

Elsa: Pfft.  Umm, yeah.  She takes us fun places and she, like, makes sure we are doing stuff right.  So she’ll yell at us if we’re doing it wrong.

Claire: So her favorite part is her yelling at you?

Elsa: No, no, never mind, take that part out.  She raising us to be good children.  Or good people, whatever.

What do you like to do with Mommy the most?

Claire: Go to concerts with her.

Elsa: Watch TV.  And talk.

Why does Mommy love you?

Claire: Because we’re her children.

Elsa: Yeah, because we’re her kids.

What is the most fun you’ve ever had with Mommy?

Claire: Ummmm.

Elsa: Ummmmmmmm.  Let me guess, you’re gonna say concerts.

Claire: Concerts? 

[Long pause]

Me: You’ve never had fun with Mommy?

Claire: When we laugh about the pirate coconut thing.  When she’s in coconut mood, or pirate mood.

Elsa: What?  Umm.  [long pause].  Every day [in a high-pitched sing-song overly sweet voice]  Because I cant think of anything else to put.

Describe what Mommy looks like.

Claire: Short, dirtyish blonde hair hair. Not like dirty as in dirty.  Yeah.  Green eyes.  I imagine her that she always wears green.  Like green pants and her green tank top that we match with.

Elsa: Ah, medium length dirty blonde hair with very noticeable highlights I guess.  Because that one lady at The Learning Shop.  Never mind.  And green eyes. 

Claire: And, yeah, and lots of Lululemon clothes.

Elsa: What?  She doesn’t even have Lululemon pants.

Claire: Well she wears a lot of Lululemon clothes.  I’m wearing Lululemon pants.

What does Mommy like to do?

Claire: Ahh, to play tennis.

Elsa: Play tennis and do quilting stuff.

Claire: Yeah, play tennis, quilt.

What does Mommy like to play with you?

Elsa: Pfffft.

Claire: When we were little we used to play ponies together.  And I used to go “look look there’s a train over there.”  And she would go “Neigh neigh.”

Elsa: Umm, she doesn’t like to play anything.  Well once we played tennis a few times.  And we watch lots of TV.

What is Mommy’s favorite thing in the world?

Claire: You, Daddy!

Elsa: I do not know.

[long pause]

Me: Well, Elsa if you had to guess what would you guess.

Claire: I know, her family

Elsa: Yeah, her family.

What makes Mommy happy?

Claire: Her family.

Elsa: Beer.

Claire: A beard?

Elsa: Beer. 

Claire: Oh.

Elsa: And her family.

How old is Mommy?

Claire: 40, hahahaha.

Elsa: What!  No?  That was years ago.  I think she’s like 43?

Claire: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47….

Elsa: We don’t know.

Claire: Let’s trick her and put 100.

What is Mommy’s favorite food?

Claire: She doesn’t have one.  She’s like “I don’t have a favorite food.  I don’t have a favorite color.  I don’t have a favorite animal.

Me: Really?

Elsa: Yeah ask her what’s her favorite song?  “I can’t choose….”

How are you and Mommy different?

Elsa: I am awkward and Mom is not.  She is loud and I am quiet.

Claire: She has dirty blonde hair and I have platinum blonde hair.

Elsa: I wouldn’t say you have platinum blonde hair.

Claire: Just blonde.

How are you and Mommy the same?

Claire: We’re both loud, we’re not awkward.  Umm, we have a good taste in fashion.  Umm, that’s all.

Elsa: We are both related to you [me] and you [Claire].  Well, Mom isn’t really related to you.

Claire: Wait, what?

Elsa: She’s related by marriage to you.

What is Mommy not very good at?

Claire: Uhh, tennis.  I’m kidding no.  Being awkward.

Elsa: What?

Claire: I don’t know.  She’s good at everything.

Elsa: Math.

How do you know that Mommy loves you?

Elsa: She raises us to be good kids. 

Claire: Yeah.

Elsa: People.  We already are kids, I guess.

What does Mommy say to you a lot?

Elsa: There are ice cream bowls on the couch.

Claire: Pick this up.

What does Mommy do to you except not something bad?  [Elsa formulated this question a few years ago.]

[Much laughter.]

Claire: Umm, umm, ahhh.

Elsa: Umm.

[More laughter]

What do you want to tell Mommy on this Mother’s Day?

Claire: Happy Mother’s Day.
Elsa: We love you very much. 
Claire: Yeah, we love very very much.  Did you know that when baby flamingos are babies they’re grey?  Hint hint.