School Decisions

We're getting ready to sign up Elsa for her next year of preschool, so we have to decide whether she's going to do 3 days a week in a mixed-age classroom (like she did this year), or the Audubon's 4K program (which is four afternoons per week and is 4-year-olds only). But of course, the answer to that question depends on one we've been discussing off-and-on for months now: Should Elsa start kindergarten in 2011, when she's 5, or 2012, when she's 6?

Until Elsa started at Audubon, I had just assumed she would start kindergarten when she was 5. I think it's obvious she'll be ready academically. And I have a September birthday myself, so I started school just before I turned 5, and it never bothered me in the least that I was young for my grade.

But in Michigan, where I grew up, the deadline for starting school is December 1. I just assumed that was the case here in Wisconsin as well, so when I found out it's September 1, that really threw me for a loop. If Elsa was 9 days younger, we wouldn't even be making this decision! When I was in school, I knew a number of people with birthdays in September, October, and even November, so I wasn't the youngest by any stretch. That wouldn't be the case for Elsa. Not only would she probably be the single youngest kid in her grade, she might be the youngest by several months, because so many people now wait to start kids with summer birthdays.

But it's still been a tough decision, simply because she's so smart. Again, I'm thinking of my own school experience. When I was in first grade, I had to go to the fourth-grade classroom every day for reading. That was an intimidating experience and I didn't like it too much. What would have happened if I had waited another whole year to start school? And will there be similar issues for Elsa? Plus, there's her height to think about, which has consistently been in the 75th percentile for her age. If she's also one of the older girls in her grade, does that mean she'll tower over everybody else?

But there's also the emotional and social aspects of school. Elsa's tendency to burst into tears whenever she's frustrated tells me that maybe her emotional readiness isn't on quite the same level as the other kids in her preschool class. And as her preschool teachers pointed out during our most recent parent-teacher conference, if we wait to start her, she will probably have more confidence as she goes through school and will be more likely to be a leader. Elsa certainly doesn't seem to be suffering in the confidence department at this point, but that's all the more reason that I would hate to see it disappear later in life. Confidence isn't the easiest thing to come by as a teenager, even under the best of circumstances—might as well give her a leg up, right? And everyone else I've talked to about this seems to come down on the side of waiting: Other moms (some of whom have older kids with summer birthdays), teachers, etc. There's one little girl in Elsa's dance class who is one month older than Elsa and will be at Elsa's elementary school. Her mother is definitely waiting to start her. Obviously, what other people are doing has to be a factor in our decision as well.

The bottom line (and I have to keep reminding myself of this) is that my school experience doesn't really apply to Elsa's situation, for a variety of reasons. We haven't made a final decision, but I think it's very likely Elsa will start kindergarten in 2012, when she's 6. We've heard lots of great things about Elsa's elementary school, including that it is extremely challenging academically. So I'm sure they can find a better way to engage her than just kicking her up several grades for particular subjects. And, since we keep hearing what a great school it is, I'm guessing there will be other kids on the same level as she is, which always helps. (I found that out when I switched schools in fourth grade and ended up in a special "gifted" reading class with three other kids—that was so much better than what I had been doing at Southwood. I'm sure my mom still remembers me saying after a few weeks at Brookwood, "Mom, everybody is so much SMARTER at this school!")

Elsa's preschool teachers did recommend that we put her in the 4K program next year. But they assured me that she can do the 4K program two years in a row, and there shouldn't be any issues with repetitiveness. (Although I do have visions of Elsa walking into the 4K classroom for the second year and yelling, "But we did this already!" as soon as the teachers start the first unit.) But I think two years of 4K probably is the way to go. Plus, if she does 4K next year, that still leaves the door open for her to start kindergarten in 2011, just in case we change our minds (and my mind has changed often enough about this over the last several months!)

I think this has been the toughest decision we've had to make for Elsa since we named her. It's something that will affect her for years and years. I'm sure she'll do just fine either way, but of course we want to give her every advantage ... if only we knew which way would be the most advantageous. Good thing we have another whole year to grapple with this and second-guess ourselves! : )